


Infinity

by verdantspace



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: F/M, M/M, Taichi is an emotionally stinted politician, Unrequited Love, Weddings, Yamato dreams about living among the stars, epilogue compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6128109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verdantspace/pseuds/verdantspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taichi reflects on his feelings for Yamato on his wedding day with Meiko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, so I’m on a roll. No, actually I just found the time and energy to proofread some of my past writings and holy shit, the things I’ve got saved in my draft...I need to get to work. Anyway, this is Taito. Again. Idk why it’s surprisingly easy for me to write them. Taichi’s an Ambassador and Yamato’s an Astronaut here, following the epilogue. Don’t blame me, I’ve got a _thing_ for Ambassador!Taichi because it’s very...hot. My portrayal of him as an international politician is basically this whole fic.
> 
> The angst is quite pronounced in this so if that ain’t your thing then don’t make yourself suffer. Meiko is featured heavily here, but because she’s had really little actual screen time in tri, I could only make up her personality from what little I can use. If she ended up being very different from my portrayal, then remember that this is a work of fiction. I don’t claim ownership on any of them.
> 
> A bit of bad news though, I’m quite busy preparing for a joint paper I’m gonna write with my friend (no, it’s not fanfiction lol) so maybe this is gonna be my last post in a while. I’ll try to finish some of my other works after things quiet down :) Thank you!
> 
> This work is inspired by One Direction’s Infinity, title and quote also taken from that song. I recommend listening to it while reading because it’s a pretty song and it fits the mood <3
> 
> (Edit: 16/03/15)
> 
> I deleted my old tumblr blog because of reasons and made a new one. Come say hi and cry with me about Taiyama [@verdantspace](http://verdantspace.tumblr.com)

_“How many nights does it take to count the stars?”_ –One Direction, _Infinity_

* * *

 

 _She’s so beautiful_ , Taichi thinks as Meiko twirls around, showing off her dress—ruffles, laces, and embroidery—to Taichi. _I’m a lucky man_ , he repeats in his head, and one look at Meiko’s happy smile makes it so easy for him to summon his love for her—constant and reassuring like the warmth radiating from a hearth. So easy, so simple, but never strong enough to overpower the flames buried further down, fiery bright in the pit of his stomach. A fire the color of burning blue.

* * *

 

Exchanging vows is a formality, and he finds no difficulty in doing it—just like following a manual. He says this, she says that, the priest murmurs something, and _you may kiss the bride_. Kissing Meiko is also easy, because she yields so readily under his fingers, pliant and soft to the touch.

_No hard lines to follow, no resistance to break down, no blue eyes to drown in._

Taichi smiles, smothers down the images trying to worm their way inside his head and kisses Meiko once more, just for show. The crowd breaks in cat calls and her blushing face makes him feel warm all over. He convinces himself it’s happiness, because who wouldn’t be _happy_ on their wedding day?

* * *

 

Exchanging pleasantries with the guests is essentially the same routine he’s used to do at dinner functions—ones he’s obliged to attend as the Ambassador of Japan. Keep your conversation partner interested, dodge their probing questions with a well-timed joke, and leave with a pleasant smile on your lips. It never fails to leave a good impression and Taichi is a trained actor in this particular field. Being an ambassador sometimes has its perks.

Meiko has changed into more comfortable wear, a beautiful sequin dress that barely brushes the ground—conservative but sweet, a statement of her personality. She hangs onto Taichi’s arm as they entertain guests, answering mundane questions and reacting properly to congratulations and compliments. Her dainty fingers settle on the crook of his arm and he feels like she anchors him, in a way. He may be leading the way, but she prevents him from getting lost, and he’s forever grateful for her presence.

Strangers and acquaintances are easy because they don’t truly care—about him or about the wedding. It’s their friends that he truly dreads.

He strides to where the Chosen Children—Adults now, he revises—are with confident steps. He hopes the smile he plasters on his lips is convincing enough. No such luck, though, because one look at Sora’s face is enough for her to start unraveling him. There are some knots he keeps tightly sealed, though, no matter how much she probes, and he prides himself in keeping it that way.

“Taichi, Meiko-chan,” Sora says, moving forward to greet the couple properly. She’s wearing a plum colored kimono, with intricate accents sewn by some of the most talented embroiders in her team. She’s maturing elegantly, and it amazes Taichi, how far they’ve all come.

“Sora-san!” Meiko detaches herself from him and he misses her already. “It’s been too long,” she grabs her hands, her voice taking on a whiny quality that makes Taichi wants to dote on her.

Sora smiles and pats her cheek. “True, Meiko-chan, it’s been quite a while. Want to take a walk with me?”

Her eyes light up in excitement and Taichi’s reminded of how much Meiko loves Sora. An illogical flash of jealousy flares up inside him, and his mind’s eye supplies him with images of Sora with a certain blond, hands linked and whispering secrets only the two of them know. That particular high school year was pure torture for Taichi.

Feeling the need to stake his claim, he flashes Sora his best political smile and says, “Be sure to return her to me, okay, Sora?”

The contemplative look on Sora’s face suggests that she knows there’s something more behind Taichi’s words, but he breaks eye contact before she can decipher what that is and lays a chaste kiss on Meiko’s rosy cheek. “Later, love,” he whispers, and revels in the way her face blooms a lovely red.

After Meiko and Sora took off, he faces the remaining members of the gang and exclaims, “Officially not a free man!”

They break in various levels of laughter, and soon enough, everyone is congratulating him with genuine smiles on their faces. They’re such great friends, and Taichi feels ridiculous for dreading to meet them earlier. He’d be fine, truly, as long as nobody mentions—

“That reminds me, where’s Yamato?” Jyou asks no one in particular, eyes searching through the crowd for a familiar shock of golden blond. Taichi freezes.

“Onii-chan sends his love,” Takeru pipes up, blue eyes—a shade darker than Yamato’s electric blue, Taichi notes—looking regretful, “he’s off in another moon, though, as usual.”

“I wonder if Yamato-san has found an extraterrestrial boyfriend or something?” comes Mimi’s teasing voice, “he’s almost _never_ home! It’s only logical.”

“Maybe an alien catches his attention and he forgets to come home,” Miyako suggests.

“More like he seduces that alien and it’s so lost under Yamato-san’s charm that it wouldn’t let him go back to earth,” Daisuke ponders out loud, and when some of them look at him in a funny way, he exclaims, “What? You all know what Yamato-san looks like. People go crazy because of him, and I’m sure that effect extends to extraterrestrial beings.” Daisuke is an honest, simple minded young man. Taichi envies him.

As opposed to amused, Takeru looks a bit green. “Please stop the topic of my brother being intimate with an alien, please.”

That leads to another bout of laughter, and Taichi wants to laugh along with them, he truly does. He isn’t able to do that, though, not with Yamato’s face _bodyscentvoiceskintearslaughsmil_ e currently swimming around in his head. He knows that he’d give himself away, somehow, so he settles with smiling.

* * *

 

“Taichi-san!” Meiko calls out, and as though faithful to her promise, fits herself in Taichi’s arm again. Taichi loves her so much, he reminds himself.

He squeezes her in his embrace, inhaling her scent, and promptly feels better. He really should appreciate her more, with how much he’s been taking advantage of her everything.

He can feel Sora walking quietly towards them, and in a show of forgetfulness, she says, “Oh no, Meiko-chan, I left my purse in the dressing room!”

Meiko’s face falls and turns determined in a second. She ignores the fact that she’s wearing a dress and announces that she will be back in no time with Sora’s purse. The way she’s so eager to please Sora is almost comical. It leaves Taichi with only Sora as his company, and he tries to keep his heartrate under control.

“What’s bothering you, Taichi?” comes the dreaded question, unsurprisingly wrapped in Sora’s familiar voice. Taichi keeps quiet and maintains an icy demeanor. He can’t lie to Sora, but he sure as hell isn’t telling the truth.

When it’s obvious that she wouldn’t get an answer out of Taichi, Sora goes for her best guess, “Is it Yamato?”

A twitch of muscle on Taichi’s jaw must give himself away, because Sora’s eyes go wide with realization.

“Oh, Taichi,” she sighs, a tone of sympathy in her eyes. Her pity tastes like a bitter pill, and Taichi’s perfect mask falls for a moment.

They’re silent for a beat until Sora starts speaking again, because they have limited time until Meiko comes back. She hesitantly puts her hand on his shoulder, and when he doesn’t shrug it off, she gives it a reassuring squeeze. During high school, no matter how much Taichi tried to hate her for taking Yamato from him, even if just for a moment, he never managed to. The anger is there, but he could never direct it at Sora. The world and _fucking fate_ , maybe, but never at Sora. She was way too important for him to get the brunt of his petty hatred.

“I miss him, too, you know,” Sora admits, looking up at the sky, “where would he be right now, you suppose?”

“Dunno,” Taichi answers truthfully, “finding true love among the stars, maybe.”

(A flash of memory comes unbidden in his mind. Yamato with a lit joint in his hand, the burning tip reflecting ambers in blue eyes. That night, he had called Taichi out on a whim, his voice hoarse and familiar through the static. The blond didn’t wait for an answer, yet the way he let his voice trail off at the end was invitation enough.

Taichi arrived at the clearing in exactly fifteen minutes, catching his breath only to have it stolen once again at the sight of Yamato under a million stars, blue eyes fixed on Taichi. They were wide and glassy, open and vulnerable the way they always did after a fresh heartbreak. Taichi gritted his teeth, ready to bash in whoever dared to hurt his best friend, but kept his mouth shut and waited.

“I got in,” Yamato broke the silence.

“Huh?” Taichi focused back on him, more than slightly confused.

Yamato grinned at him, “I scored highest on the exam, so I’m off to space by November.”

Taichi tried not to scream or demand him to stay, and was successful only by squeezing his hand hard enough to draw blood. He settled for his politician smile.

“Congrats, man,” he said lightly.

Yamato had given him an odd look, before chuckling and punched Taichi’s arm playfully. “Don’t give me that artificial shit, Yagami. If you’ve got issues, speak now.”

Yamato was too good at reading him that it didn’t seem fair. Taichi could only get the blond’s guard down when he was drunk and/or high—and he enjoyed that very much, unspooling his complicated threads of thought one by one, until Yamato was laid bare in front of him. It was a rare occurrence, and he hoped this would be one of those nights.

Because if this _was_ goodbye, Taichi didn’t want any barrier between them.

He forced out a laugh and said, “No, I’m really happy for you,” and it was the truth, “it’s just... I’m gonna miss you, I guess.”

Yamato’s face went solemn for a moment, studying Taichi with a tender gaze. Taichi wasn’t looking at him, so when he felt Yamato settling down beside him, too close to be considered platonic—or was it just his wishful thinking?—his heart almost leaped out of his chest.

Yamato didn’t say anything, but he laid his head gently on Taichi’s shoulder and murmured, “You’ll always have me.”

Taichi’s brain started going a mile a minute, trying to decode his cryptic words. A vivid scenario flashed through his mind in alarming speed—a preambule to a love confession, a blush settling prettily on Yamato’s high cheekbones, a passionate kiss shared under the stars, a plea spilling from bruised lips, laced in Taichi’s name—

“I’ll be up there, Taichi,” Yamato’s voice broke his train of thought; surprising him even when he spoke lowly and quietly, “up on the stars. Just look up and you’ll find me.”

Taichi waited for something else—a rendition of his fantasies, preferably, but when it was clear that Yamato was finished, he swallowed a wave of disappointment. “That’s what you called me for?” He teased, “to wax poetic?”

“Bastard,” Yamato said with no heat before dissolving into fits of giggles, “Speaking of bastards, that _bastard_ also broke up with me because I scored higher than him. Seems like I wounded his _manly pride_ ,” he mocked, and Taichi could see him trying so hard to be nonchalant, but he didn’t call him out on it.

Instead, he nudged Yamato’s shoulder and said, “Forget about that loser. Tell me more about space,” even though he didn’t want to know anything about the place that Yamato loves most, enough for him to want to leave earth behind—leave _Taichi_.

The way Yamato perked up made him hope for everything to get sucked inside a black hole.

The blond grinned at him before finally answering, “You won’t understand the math, Mr. Ambassador, but I can tell you that it’s a wonderful, mysterious place.”

He was silent again; his gaze on the stars and head in the clouds. Taichi felt inadequate, knowing that his reaching hands would never be able to drag Yamato back down—to earth, warm and save in Taichi’s embrace.

“Maybe I’ll find one out there,” Yamato wondered out loud, his voice taking a rare, dreamy quality, “my true love. A knight in shining armor or a king of faraway land, residing on of the stars.”

Taichi remembered some of Yamato’s unfinished lyrics titled Kingdom of Vega or Milkyway Prince or something equally ridiculous, penned in a drunken stupor and telling stories of Yamato’s hidden dreams and desires. Taichi had always thought of them as ridiculous—albeit a little cute—fantasies. He never would’ve thought that the fictional characters in those lyrics would pose an actual threat, until now.

“Well,” Taichi grunted out, “alert me if your alien lover decided to meet the parents, because the leaders of Earth wouldn’t be as welcoming as them.”

Yamato looked back at him with incredulous eyes. “You’re hysterical, Yagami,” he said before settling next to the brunette, sprawled on the grass without a care in the world. He looked at the sky once again before scowling and tugging Taichi down to lie down next to him. Taichi faked an exasperated sigh and indulged him, prompting one of Yamato’s unguarded smiles to appear.

Taichi ignored his thundering heart and grinned back, elbowing his best friend before relaxing, as much as he could with his mind in turmoil.

Lying beside him like this, Taichi tried to squander his feelings, convincing himself that they were out of place, never meant to be conceived in the first place. Yamato’s friendship was benevolently given, and he should be grateful for it.)

At present, Taichi is looking up at said stars, eyes on the lookout for a flash of golden blond and steely blue. It’s a silly thought, makes sillier by the fact that Taichi is stupidly—eternally—in love with a man who gave himself to the stars, never to come down.

It makes him feel so alone. Maybe that’s why he decided to get married. It’s a cruel thought, and he buries it deep within the excesses of his mind.

Breaking the seemingly eternal silence, he hears Meiko calling for them, excited and out of breath, Sora’s purse clutched in one hand. She returns it to her with a tiny smile, blissfully oblivious to what she was talking about with her husband, naïve and lovely and so much more than what Taichi deserves. Sora thanks her and bids the newlyweds a quiet goodbye, most likely leaving out of guilt. Taichi knows because he also feels it; a crushing guilt that makes him feel numb. Nothing justifies what he has done, and it must speak a lot about him that he’s thankful for the numbness that comes with the guilt. It makes maintaining his facade so much easier.

“Meiko,” he calls with a gentle voice, and she turns around to look at him. He doesn’t know what she sees, but an expression of utter love and devotion crosses her face—mixed with disbelief, like it’s difficult to fathom that Taichi is promised to be hers forever. At that moment, Taichi is once more reminded of how lucky he is.

He opens his arms for her to fit into, and ironically, she does, small and compact inside his embrace. He takes her in and stops thinking about everything else.

His beautiful wife, the one he loves, Taichi thinks as he averts his eyes from the stars.


End file.
